I've tried doing things such as getting eachother to talk about our love language and to go to therapy but he's never really actively tried at anything I've suggested. He thinks that we'll be fine and can be a functional relationship after we get all the arguments out of our systems. I've only had one relationship before him and I was physically abused in that relationship. I don't really think I have the best veiw on a healthy relationship even after several rounds of therapy. I don't want to break up immediately if there are other options to take but I need some advice on what else I can do. I am exhausted and I can't keep going like this. I need better ways to communicate as I don't think what I'm doing right now is working, can anyone help? TLDR: me and my partner keep fighting due to two completely different veiws on how a relationship should be like, I need help communicating better so we argue less.
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We met when we were in highschool as we had some of the same classes together, he was always polite, kind and sweet. He was the shy kid whereas I was a little more outgoing and social. After about a month of dating I sat down and clarified what I need from him within the relationship and asked him to do the same. I stated that I needed full trust, support, patience and a safe space with him. My partner said that he needed me to like the same things as him and to just love him. I gave him that and the stuff that I needed as well however over the past two years whenever I suggested that I loose a bit of weight so I remain a healthy BMI or mention getting a haircut or saying I'm going to go out with my friends he's not supported me and just complained that I'm not using that time to spend with him. I have asked what I can do to make him feel like we sufficient time with eachother and that I give him all of my free time. To clarify I am a full time carer for my mum who has a chronic illness and my brother who has autism, I am a student getting my degree and I work two jobs. Cashwin giriş.
I gave him that and the stuff that I needed as well however over the past two years whenever I suggested that I loose a bit of weight so I remain a healthy BMI or mention getting a haircut or saying I'm going to go out with my friends he's not supported me and just complained that I'm not using that time to spend with him. I have asked what I can do to make him feel like we sufficient time with eachother and that I give him all of my free time. To clarify I am a full time carer for my mum who has a chronic illness and my brother who has autism, I am a student getting my degree and I work two jobs. I don't get much time to look after myself and I made sure at the start of the relationship that he knew that I had responsibilities and commitments to work. This has led to him accusing me of cheating on him with my cousin, him accusing me of not respecting his boundaries and being uncomfortablely close to other men. When I asked him if there's anything that could have caused him to think like that he says ”that one time you huged your cousin made me uncomfortable”. The past month this has gotten worse, I recently got diagnosed with ADHD. Since then he insists that I am normal and that I don't need to change anything to better accommodate my ADHD.
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